Special Edition: Wild, Crazy Animal Sex

Hippie chimps are on their way out, according to Yahoo! news.

"Bonobos are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs. Bonobo spats are swiftly settled — often with a French kiss and a quick round of sex."

This amazes me in so many ways. When you think you've seen it all, bring out the drunken chimp orgy.

The way Sally Coxe of the Bonobo Conservation Initiative (yes, there is one) sees it, "Bonobos are an icon for peace and love."

I don't know about all that. It sounds like a bunch of sanctimonious hooey to me.

Killing things off, in general, is a bad idea. It's unnecessarily throwing off "nature's balance," which is probably quite fragile in the Congo.

Plus, it's just mean.

Why this point has to be based on the fact that the chimps frequently erupt into sexual frenzy is beyond me.

One has to wonder if this hyper-sexual behavior is at all related to villiagers getting the chimps drunk.

Over on this side of the planet, homosexual penguins are in the news.

Parents in Missouri have petitioned to remove And Tango Makes Three from the children's section of local libraries so that the story won't "blindside" readers.

This marks the first time I've heard about this gay-penguin-blindsiding ritual.

The proud heterosexual humans demanded that the book be relocated into the nonfiction section instead, a baffling move which only serves to increase its credibility.

These people are gonna shit a brick when the Bonobos book hits shelves.